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EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Here's the deal.  The Profanator and I teamed up on this one.  This is our second joint scam and as much as I would love to take credit for this one, he's the evil genius behind this classic.  He is Father Will U. Tuchme (red text) and I am Sister Anita Hanchob (blue text).  This one has a religious theme to it and if you are Catholic and can't laugh at yourself, skip this one.  It's all in good fun.

ORIGINAL EMAIL:  From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme(5/28)

Mrs. Judith Kante
E-mail: mrs_k@rediffmail.com

Dear Sir,

With due respect and humility, I write you this letter which I believe you would be of great assistance to me. I got your contact from the world trade center (W. T.C) here in Bangkok, Thailand.  I am Mrs. Judith Kante the wife of Mr. Randi Kante of blessed memory. My husband was assassinated by the rebel forces loyal to Major John Paul Koroma. Before his assassination, he was the director general, National Gold and mining corporation of Sierra Leon.  My husband was one of the main classes of people targeted by the rebel forces in Sierra Leon. In the course of the revolution in the country,
prominent people were hijacked from their homes to unknown destination.   My husband was hijacked and was killed by the rebels.  Two days before his death he managed to sneak out a written message informing me of a trunk box which he conceived under the roof of our house containing valuables and cash sum of ($28.500,000USD) Twenty eight millions five hundred thousand Dollars. He instructed me and my only son to move out of Sierra Leon with the money to Bangkok, Thailand immediately before the powerful Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) forces intervened which eventually resulted to a brutal civil war.

I and my son managed to escape to Bangkok, Thailand with the trunk box containing the money through the help of an air craft pilot and we are now temporary residing in Bangkok as asylum seekers. In order to avoid people raising an eyebrow over the Hugh some of money, I decided to deposit the trunk box with a security organization for safe keeping and security purposes. Be informed that the real content of the box was not disclosed to the security organization and we do not want them to know this under any circumstances rather we deposited the box as containing family valuables.  Please we want you to come and assist us claim this box from the security organization because we have no documents to prove ownership
and source of this Hugh sum of money if we are questioned in the Bank, we therefore need your assistance by coming here to claim this money on your foreign Bank account.  You will be required to open a non residence Bank Account in any Bank of
your choice here in Bangkok and get the money deposited in the account, there after you order the Bank manager to transfer the money to your account overseas.You shall also source for good investment for us where we can invest the
money wisely. We have it in mind to establish a rewarding investment and
good relationship with you.

Concerning the money, we are prepared to give you a reasonable sum of 40% of the total money and 5% would be mapped out for any expenses incurred in the cause of this transaction, then 55% will be for me and my son.If you are willing to assist us, you can reach me and my son immediately you receive this letter for more information to enable us proceed
towards concluding all our arrangements. No other person knows about this money apart from my son and I. Please keep it very confidential.

We await your urgent response.

Best regards,
Mrs. Judith Kante.
NB:PLEASE DO RESPOND ON MY PRIVATE E-MAIL ADDRESS:  mrs_k@rediffmail.com

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (5/28)

My Dearest Mrs. Kante:

I am receipt of your e-mail message. I must say I am saddened by the loss of your husband and the refugee status you and you son have had to adopt in order to find assylum. I can only thank the lord God himself for seeing you safely out of Sierra Leone (where I hear cannibalism of pygmies is rife by the rebel forces -- now that I think about it, is that the Congo?). Was the flight you chartered ok?

I must admit, Mrs. Kante, that I am perplexed. Why would the world trade center in Bangkok list me as a contact? Allow me to explain: My name is Father William U. Tuchme. I am a Catholic Priest and man of the cloth. I oversee a large Diocese in New York State. How does this imply I am a businessman? Obviously, being in the church in the USA is very lucrative, but I do not understand the connection.

Madam, I feel I must pray in order to have guidance from the lord regarding this. If I pray hard, and swing my smoke ball around, I am sure he will instruct me to help.

I would like to hear back from you with more details of this transaction, at once. Until then, you may address me as Father or Your Holiness. Once I feel you are genuine, you may call me by my first name, Will.

I ask for your respect and cooperation.

Fondest regards and the will of God to you and your son.

Sincerely,

Father Will U. Tuchme

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme(5/29)

Dear Father Will U. Tuchme,

I have received your reply to my mail and I was so happy to learn that you are revrend father.  That alone has given me a great confidence.

Well, since you are a man of God, I have nothing to fear again, I can impose all my confidence and trust in you.  Please always put my family and me in your prayers.  I will love you to please send me your full name and address as it is going to appear in the certificate of deposit, so that the finance company can change all the documentation to your name.  As soon as the change is being done, they will send it to you that will enable you claim this money and make a wire transfer directly to your own account so that we can be able to suggest the mutual investment that could be done with your full guidance.

As soon as I hear from you, we will start the processing immediately.  May almighty God continue to giude and bless you, till we see.  Have a wonderful day.

Mrs. Kante Judith.

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (5/29)

Dear Mrs. Kunte:

I am pleased that you are strong of faith. Surely, if we do proceed, the Lord will bless the modalities of this very transaction. However, In your excitement, you seem to have forgotten my question regarding how you came to hear of me as a contact in the world trade center, Bangkok. I cannot, and will not enter into a partnership (business or otherwise) without knowing about the individuals with whom I am dealing.

I would like to know a little more about you. What is your son's name? How old is he? Where are you from? Is your son single? Do you have any hobbies? What kind of investment are you referring to? How have you been edjucated?

I cannot proceed without a little dialogue between us. I will start, and I expect your honest response:

My name is Bishop Dr. William U. Tuchme. I am referred to as Bishop Tuchme, Father Tuchme, and Holiness. When I get to know people they call me Will, or Willy. I am the Bishop for the Diocese of the Touching Cloth. I have my Masters Degree in Divinity and My Doctorate in Theology. I am single believing that only God can fill me with the goodness I need. I run a childrens' program (young boys only) through my local Diocese. I believe that children are the joy of our Heavenly Father, therefore I council and assist young boys in the development of their futures. My quartely camp is named the Follow Through Mission for Boys. The kids refer to me as Big Willy or The Bishop.

Mrs. Kante, I travel often to various Dioces around the USA and, being high of stature in the Catholic church, I regularly attend meetings at the Vatican. Next week, as it happens, I am attending one such meeting with His Holiness, the Pope, in the Vatican. I will have my computer so I will be able to e-mail through my trip. However, this leads me into a new topic: Confidentiality.

I have recently needed legal council due to quite serious disturbances in the church. I know you have asked for my silence in regards to this issue, but I will want to speak to my legal councilor and dear friend, Sister Anita Hanchob. Will this be a problem? We pray together and are one with the church. Please advise.

That is a little about me. I am enclosing a picture so that you can put a face to my words. I would appreciate the same from you including personal information so I may get to know you. I would also like for you to answer the question of how the Bangkok world trade center had me as a contact.

In love, light, faith and spirit of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, I bless you and your son and remain,

Faithfully yours,

Father Will U. Tuchme

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme(5/29)

Attention: Father Will U. Tuchme.

Dear Father Will,

I greet you this day in the name of Our Lord Jesus, the propitiation of our sins, and also to acknowlegde the receipt your e-mail to me.

(1)a. My Son's name is Tubnman Senghor Kante, and he will be 16 years of age in a few weeks from now. He is single. I am from Sierra Leone. I am educated up to High School Level, and in addition , I have a teacher's Grade II Certificate, being a trained Teacher.

(b) Of course as you already know, my name is Mrs Judith Kante, wife of late Mr. Randi Kante, who was the Director General of National Gold & Mining Corporation of Sierra Leon, who was assissinated in the infraticidal war in Sierra Leon.

(c) I am referring to investments like Real Estate, or any other high yeild investment.

(2) As earlier indicated, I got your contact in a journal I was going throuhg at the World Trade Centre here in Bangkok, as a clergyman, my intuition told me that you will be in the best position to assist me and my son in this regard, because I have long held the fear that I may get into the wrong and unscrupulous hands, who at the successful conclution of this transaction may decide to cheat me and my son out of the proceeds. Essentially, what attracted me was that your disposition on profil as a man of God, you will best suit my purpose in this endeavour.

(3) As to whether or not you should tell this to your Sister Anita; You know that I have overtime maintained a high level secrecy over this, in the belief that every best friend/confidant has another best friend elsewhere. So I do not wish for a situation where this transaction will be blown ever before we commence. However, should you think there wont be any problem,then its up to you.

Already, I have sent out your name:- Bishop Dr.William U.Tuchme to the Security Company, to enable them effect a change in the Certificate of Deposit to your name, and sent by e-mail attachment to you, to enable you proceed for the claim. Also attached is my photograph, in reciprocity to the one you sent me.

Thanks for your co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Judith Kante.

From Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (5/30)

Dear Mrs. Judith Kante,

Hello, my name is Sister Anita Hanchob.  I too am part of the Diocese of the Touching Cloth and work directly with Father Will U. Tuchme.  I am his personal assistant and he thought it would be good if I introduced myself to you as apparently, you will be doing some business together.  I handle a lot of his paper work, financial business, problems and cover-ups.  He is a great man and you, like myself, are lucky to know him.  I want you to know that if you need anything, please feel free to contact me as well as Father
Tuchme.  I have recently added you to my list of people to pray for and I hope we can get you through your hard times.  There is this saying in the Catholic church that goes "abstinence makes the church grow fondler."  I feel nothing could be more appropriate for your situation and judging from your letter, you know exactly what I am talking about.  If you keep your faith in the lord and stay on the path, you shall be rewarded.

I have attached a recent photo of myself.  This was taken for the annual church yearbook.  I'm just learning this computer thingy.  As you can tell from my photo, I'm pretty old.  I'm not too old to learn though.  I use to think the Internet was Satan's lair but Father Tuchme changed my thinking.  He was always helping these wonderful young boys who he would meet in chat rooms.  They were troubled and he brought stability to their lives.  Kind of like what he wants for you.

Stay strong sister and pray.  Pray like hell.

Sister Anita Hanchob

From Mrs. Kante  to Sister Hanchob (5/30)

Attention: Sister Anita.

Dear Sister,

This is to acknowledge your e-mail which I received with gratitude. May I thank you in the name of our Lord Jesus.

I sent an e-mail to Father Will today alongside my photograph, and I hope that with your inclusion, you will as a woman, understand the pains and pangs I feel as a result of widowhood, and consequently assist in expeditious handling of this transaction, to save me and my son from an inpending financial calamity.

I  am hopefully awaiting Father Will's response, and trusting too that your involvment assures me of my safety. Therefore, I wish for us to commence immediately the process of actualising this transaction, such as Father Will furnishing me with the information I seek as to how he would want his name appear on the Certificate of Deposit. I need this urgently.

Goodbye and may the peace of the Lord that passes all understanding be with you.


Thanks for your co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs Judith Kante.

From Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (5/30)

Dear Mrs. Kante,

I just received your email.  Father Tuchme has read your email (the one with the photo) and is planning to respond as soon as possible.  He is very busy today.  He had stop by the children’s hospital today to pray for the young boys who are paralyzed.  Father Tuchme feels so bad for them because they can’t walk, run, or yell for help due to their inability to move.  He meets and prays with them one by one in their room.  It’s nice because he brings God into their lives.  I promise you this, he will respond and we will help you.  Hopefully he will write as soon as he gets back from the hospital.  Sometimes he is a little late as he likes to stop by the pub and get a little liquored up before returning to the church.  As good Catholics, it is our duty to God.  Our Lord Jesus would not want it any other way.

What religion are you dear?  I understand the pains and pangs you are feeling.  I will ask God to help take both of those away.  Maybe one day Father Tuchme and I can sit with you and tell you how the Diocese of the Touching Cloth operates.  You and your son would love our church.

Praying for you every minute.

Sister Anita Hanchob

From Mrs. Kante  to Sister Hanchob (5/31)

Sister Anita,

Thanks to hear from you again. I'm very happy to hear that father is praying for disables and God with his infinite mercy help them survive their situation.

Unfortunately, I am renowned catholic and with the so help to meet with you and father.

Please have father reply my mails it is very very urgent because I am receiving from the finance company the certificate of deposit on Monday and I will be sending it through e-mail attachment to father. I need to know if the name already given by the father is correct.

Please have him e-mail me today very important. Although, I understand how busy he is.  But he should please understand my position too.

Thanks for everything and God bless you.

Mrs. Judith Kante

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/2)

Attn: Father Will U. Tuchme,

Your Holiness,

I am very confused and disturbed that i have not heard from you since two days.

Although sister Anita has written me twice since then and mentioned you were. I really mentioned how important it is for me to hear from you  especially on the name that will be on the certificate of deposit.  But like i told you, i have already given the fiance company last week to change the deposit certificate to DR. WILLIAM U. TUCHME address as New York United State of America.

You can see as attached that i have just received from trans-atlantic world wide securityes & Fiance the certificate of deposit.  Please the best thing now is for you to make arrangement to come to Thailand and meet with the security managing Director, Mr. Koffi Swith . As I was told by the security company , it will cost a little more money because of your flight ticket and hotel expences including payment of demurrages which i believe the cost is going to be more expensinces  in the alternative, i should have to suggested we ask the finance company to make a direct wire-transfer to your account in united states or anywhere you may have an account that is more convenient for you . in alternative, what the finance company may require is a little tax on demurrage  which is not going to be more in our side , so ofcourse the choice is yours.

Please let me know your position about this immediately.  The delay is replying my mail makes me feel so bad . please i will know your position .  please say hi to sister Anita.

May God bless you, your holiness.

Your sister - in - the Lord - Mrs . Judith Kante

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/2)

My dearest Mrs. Kante:

I must firstly apologize for my lateness of reply, but I have been extremely busy with a few things. Firstly, I have had many young, sick boys to pray for individually. Secondly, I had a day out at the lake with some of the young boys of my diocese. It was beautiful to see the lads frolicking about shirtless. Then when we went for a dip in the lake, their pert, peachlike rumps reminded me of the beauty of nature and the water. I have also been preparing for my impending Vatican trip to meet with his Holiness, the Pope, regarding the Touching Cloth diocese. As you are aware, Sundays are extremely busy: I have to arrange and prepare my sermon for the congregation. With all of the recent difficulties in the church, I must be extremely careful in my actions, especially due to the accusations of spiking the grape juice. That is an area where Sister Anita Hanchob is my most staunch ally. Her knowledge of the law combined with her unrelenting prayer protects and nourishes the Touching Cloth diocese.

Speaking of which, I am glad that you have had contact with Sister Hanchob. She is sometimes batty due to her age, but she is a spitfire and, as she puts it, prays like hell. When I first mentioned this transaction to her, we held hands and prayed. She said she needed time to pray alone, so I went and prayed with a young boy named Steven. When we reconvened, she said it was safe as you were not Nigerian; you are from Sierra Leone. She said never to trust transactions with Nigerians. Anyway, that photograph of her surfing the Internet is very funny. Actually, she recently sent it to a humorous website and they published it! She is a crazy old bird, but infused with the love of the Lord.

My dear Judith, I have seen your photograph and you are a serious looking lady. I do pray for your happiness, and for the happiness of your son after all that you have experienced. I understand that you wish for me to come to Bangkok and meet with your representative. This is a trip I could manage at the end of my Vatican visit. Could you send me details of a hotel and airport? I see by your Certificate of deposit that things are moving along nicely. I am most trusting. There are a few things that I am unclear of/hesitant about. Firstly, is SARS a problem? I do not want SARS. Secondly, what were you talking about regarding taxes and money, please explain.

I trust, if I do make it to Bangkok to secure this transaction, that I will be met at the airport. Would you tell me who will be meeting me and send me a photograph of the individual meeting me. I do trust you, Judith, but I am usually wary. To prove this is all real and to extinguish the last doubt from my mind will you send me a photograph of the individual meeting me holding a sign with my name on it? It must read "Father Will U. Tuchme." I know this is silly, but it will prove to me that the person I am meeting is real and not just a random, meaningless picture.

In hope of your prompt response and wishing you the virtues of the lord himself,

I am,

Father Will U. Tuchme

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/3)

Your Holiness,

Thank you for your mail. I understand you are usually busy and do appreciate you need to reply my mail promptly. As long as you have complete confidence in me, I will be at your service and do everything required of me to make this transaction successful. Because without the success of this business, it then means I have to suffer with my only kid all the rest of our lives.

In respect of your coming, I will be in touch with the Finance Company tomorrow and I would give them all your details. I am sure they will be in contact with you and they will let you know who will be coming to meet with you at the Airport. They will as well forward such representative photograph.

Your Holiness, we don’t have any SARS problem over here. It is only in China that the problem exist and even in China the Government is controlling the epidemic. So don’t entertain any fear about SARS, you are safe.

Regarding your concern about taxes and money, I was trying to explain what the Finance Company told me. They said if we require this fund to be sent directly to your account, they will have to change a tax on it but since you are coming over there, they taxes cannot be applied. All you are required to do is to pay demurrage and handling charges. They will explain more to you when you open communication with them prior to your arrival in Bangkok. The hotel reservation will be made as soon as you indicate your arrival time.

Please tell Sister Anita to send me an email because I have been longing to hear from her these days and as well ask her to always pray for me and my little kid.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Your Sister – in – the Lord.

Mrs. Judith Kante.

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/3)

Dearest Mrs. Kunte:

I do enjoy our e-mails, especially since you are a lady of God. Did Sister Hanchob inform me correctly that you are devout Catholic? I am hoping so. I pray nightly for the happiness of you, your son, and Sister Hanchob. Last night, in my study of the holy scripture, I read a passage that I believe is appropriate. I quote this with you in mind:

And thus, Jesus spake unto his desciples that gathered around him so. "And as I sit upon thine turtle's head, I will surely toucheth cloth."
--Iziah 4:19

This passage is reflective of Jesus' own desire to touch the sacred cloth of his people, and as a man of the cloth, it has become the reason for the name of my diocese. Are you one to touch cloth Mrs. Kante? I sincerely hope so.

As I mentioned, I am trusting of you, my dear. I just have several lingering tagnuts of doubt. I would like very much to be in touch with your security company and begin the formalities. I am serious about seeing the person who will be meeting me at the airport. And I am also serious that to prove his or her identity, they must send me a photograph of themselves holding a sign that reads "Father Will U. Tuchme." They can then carry this sign to the airport when they meet me. Will I be meeting you too, Mrs. Kante? I certainly hope so.

I am glad that SARS is not a problem in Bangkok, you have assuaged my fears in regards to this. Will I be able to meet many people in Bangkok? I was hoping to do some missionary work with young children--especially boys. Please let me know if this can be arranged.

Regarding money for the transaction taxes and the such, I will bring plenty of American Express traveller's checks, amounting to several thousands of dollars. However, a much better idea will be to have you pay any fees out of the secured funds.

I will have Sister Anita contact you at once, and I will continue to pray for your happiness and prosperity.
In honest love and with faith in the Lord our Father,

I remain,

Father Will U. Tuchme

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/4)

Your Holiness,

Thanks for your kind words. I also enjoy reading your mail especially your love for children. Also, thanks for the trust you repose in me. Yes, I am a devout Catholic, which stated very early in my life. My late husband was a Knight of Mulumba. God loves me and I do my best to reflect God’s love on everybody I meet. I will be the one to touch cloth, your Holiness.

I am glad to know that you are ready to be in touch with the Security Company and begin formalities. Your Holiness, there is no problem with the person that will receive you at the Airport. Their photograph will be sent to you. They will carry a sign reading “Father Will U. Tuchme. I believe I will be at the Airport also to receive you depending where I’m camping. About the young children in Bangkok for your missionary work, you know I am like a refuge over there, but I will try to arrange something through my friends and see how possible that can be.

You Holiness as regards the expenses please be assured that whatever you spend will be deducted from the secure funds. The Security Company does not have the power to deduct from the Secured funds because of the clause my Husband put on deposit, neither do I have personal money as such, given my status.  Therefore, your idea to come with American Express Travellers checks is a very good one. It will be very helpful in meeting the miscellaneous expenses.

Meanwhile, this is to inform you that in view of the change of name on the Certificate of Deposit, the entire transaction has been signed off to your name and person by my son and myself.

Thanks and God Bless.

Judith Kante.

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/4)

Your Holiness,

Thanks for your kind words. I also enjoy reading your mail especially your love for children. Also, thanks for the trust you repose in me. Yes, I am a devout Catholic, which stated very early in my life. My late husband was a Knight of Mulumba. God loves me and I do my best to reflect God’s love on everybody I meet. I will be the one to touch cloth, your Holiness.

I am glad to know that you are ready to be in touch with the Security Company and begin formalities. Your Holiness, there is no problem with the person that will receive you at the Airport. Their photograph will be sent to you. They will carry a sign reading “Father Will U. Tuchme. I believe I will be at the Airport also to receive you depending where I’m camping. About the young children in Bangkok for your missionary work, you know I am like a refuge over there, but I will try to arrange something through my friends and see how possible that can be.

You Holiness as regards the expenses please be assured that whatever you spend will be deducted from the secure funds. The Security Company does not have the power to deduct from the Secured funds because of the clause my Husband put on deposit, neither do I have personal money as such, given my status.  Therefore, your idea to come with American Express Travellers checks is a very good one. It will be very helpful in meeting the miscellaneous expenses.

Meanwhile, this is to inform you that in view of the change of name on the Certificate of Deposit, the entire transaction has been signed off to your name and person by my son and myself.

Thanks and God Bless.

Judith Kante.

From Mrs. Kante to Sister Anita Hanchob (6/4)

Dear Sister Anita,

Greetings in the Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope all is well with you. I was a little weak when I have not heard from you in the last 3 days and this is to ask after your health and know whether all is well and that your silence is not a result of poor health.

This is to further express my gratitude to God for His assistance and harkening to my prayer through His Holiness Father Will.

We have been in contact with each other and I am grateful that he is willing to go to Bangkok to actualize this transaction.

His request as to how he will be received at the Airport will be met and he will not have any problem recognising the persons who receive him there. The Security Company is arranging that and I am sure they will do all the necessary to ensure the request of His Holiness.

Thank you for everything and God bless you.

Mrs. Judith Kante.

From TransAtlantic to Father Tuchme (6/4)

Attn:  Mr. William  Tuchme.

Your address was given to us by Mr Des K. Annan in respect of the consinment deposited in the name of Mrs. Judith Kante,  we are pleased to inform you that the consignment is with us, we have already notified the beneficiary to prepare for our handling charges which must be paid before releasing the cargo to him, we assured you of safe delievery to your address in Thailand.

Thanks for your co-operation.

Ouadrago  Patipon.

For: Transatlantic World Wide Security.

From Father Tuchme to Ouadrago from TransAtlantic (6/4)

Dear Sir/Madam:

I assume that you are the security company I am supposed to meet in Bangkok,however, your e-mail is most unprofessional. For a start, I am sure that Mrs. Judith Kante has introduced me and told you how to correctly address me. I am not a Mr., I work for a living. I am a doctor and a Reverend Bishop. Therefore, I am to be addressed Father William U. Tuchme or Dr. Tuchme. In regards to this arrangement, you may call me Father Will U. Tuchme.

Secondly, who in the Lord's creation is Des K. Annan? I have never heard this name from Mrs. Kante.

Thirdly, is your name Ouadrago Patipon, and what do I have to do with you to get my shipment? I am sure Mrs. Kante has told you that I will be in Bangkok shortly after my impending trip to the Vatican this weekend. She has informed me that somebody from your company will be there at the airport to meet me. However, I will not arrange this trip until I am sent a photograph of the individual meeting me. To prove that this photograph is recent and honest the individual must be holding a sign that has my name on it in the photograph. The sign must read "Father Will U. Tuchme." This sign can also be brought to the airport when I am met. This is a small step to take to assuage my fears. I trust you will comply. After all, I will be travelling with several thousand dollars worth of travellers' checks and am obviously nervous.

I expect your prompt reply and photograph.

Sincerely, in the name of our blessed Lord,

Father Will U. Tuchme

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/4)

Dear Mrs. Kante:

As I sit down this morning to be at peace with the Lord, I am filled with a spirit of kindness and light. You are a sincere and honest individual, and one who is also at peace with the Lord. I sensed from our first e-mail that you were a Catholic, and even moreso, that you touch cloth. I just knew it. You have filled me with happiness.

I did hear from your security company and as you can see by my reply which I forwarded to you. I am not sure they are very professional. However, I do trust you so I will take your advice. Am I dealing with them correctly? Please advise. I hope that soon we will both feel the benefits of our association.

Mrs. Kante, as you know the photograph is very important to me. I am a little nervous about travelling with large sums of travellers checks. I need to see a picture of the individual who will be meeting me holding a sign with my name on it. It should read "Father Will U. Tuchme." I am leaving for my trip to the Vatican on Saturday. I am provisionally booking flights to Bangkok, but I will not confirm unless I recieve this picture in the next 36 hours. By the way, is $3000 enough to bring in travellers' checks. Please advise. I am sure we can arrange something about the funding for the modalities.

Sister Anita will be in touch with you soon. I worry for her health. She is aged and frail. Infact, she has been resting for the last few days. She came into my study for daily prayer and in the middle of our meditation she touched cloth. The sensation was so vigorous that she has been resting since. How powerful the Lord is. I fear too powerful for Sister Anita to bear.

I would appreciate it if you could look into missionary work I could do with small children while I am there. It would fill me with joy.

Please explain the change of name on the Certificate of Deposit. I am a little confused.

May the Lord's love be with you, I expect your prompt response as time is short.

Sincerely,

Father Will U. Tuchme  

From Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (6/6)

Hi Judith,

It's Sister Anita Hanchob.  I wanted to touch base with you and let you know that Father Tuchme had to postpone his trip.  I want to stress to you how important it is that Father Tuchme have his requests, demands, fantasies fulfilled.  For what he will do for you, it’s a small price to pay.  Due to the fact that the Catholic Church is the most powerful religion in the world (and most pure I might add), we have to continuously watch our backs.  Do you know what I’m saying G?  There are those who want to take down the church and kill the priests.  I know what you are thinking, “that’s sick, why would anyone want to stand out at an airport and shoot a God fearing priest as he comes off the plane?”  Well, it happens.  More often then you think Judith.  As traveling Catholics, we have standard operating procedures that we have to follow when meeting potential business partners.  God forces us to follow these strictly or we face his wrath.  Please provide us with the names and places, along with the picture of the pick-up man holding that sign.  I’m sure this won’t be a problem.  You obviously complied with the standard operating procedure of the Catholic Church before.  I'm very busy today so I might not get back to email till Monday.  Well, I’m off to go stand out in front of the planed parenthood with my sign and throw eggs at the young women who don’t think the right way, the Catholic way.

Talk to you soon.

Sister Anita Hanchob  

From Mrs. Kante to Sister Anita Hanchob (6/7)

Dear Sister Anita,

Thank you for your mail. i completely understand your concern for His Holiness, and I want to use this oppotunity to reassure you that I can never be part of anything that will harm the man of God. Even as i suffer everyday to feed my son. I live with the fear of God. In God I put all my trust. I won't want to offend God because on the Judgement day, I want to be in Heaven.

Sister Anita, have no doubt about Father Tuchme safety, they shall send the photograph of the person that will receive His Holiness at the Airport as requested by Father. I very much understand the operating procedures of traveling Catholics and must ensure that they comply with the rules.

Sister Anita, everything is fine. I won't let you or Father down because you are my only hope of a future for me and my son.

May God bless you abundantly in your desire for a better society for all of us.

Your Sister -in- Christ,
Mrs. Judith Kante.

Des Kwame Annan to Father Tuchme (6/7)

Dear   Father Will U. Tuchme.

Good day, this is the third time I'm sending message to you without response from you, though I can understand your carefullness, however I need  more details inofrmation from you hence Mrs. Judith Kante have briefed me  your details of coming, I have sent the required information to you but to my surprise, Madam told me that you have not recieved it,  here is the detail information for your coming, Mr. Isaac Khunga whom the picture is attarched here will recieve you at the airport with the sign,  Fathe Will U. Tuchme, he will take very good care of you while you are here, the hotel reservation will be made for you as soon as you confirm your date of coming, kindly indicate to me your choice of Hotel, the company informed me that we have total demorrage of $37,850 to balance them, this amount must be paid to them before delievering the consignment to us. with this arrangement the transaction will be concluded within two days of your coming.
I look forward for your response.

Regards.
Des Kwame Annan.

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/7)

His Holliness,

It's nice hearing from you once again. I completely read you detailed mail and I understood every bit of your mail.

First and formost, I can never be a party for any wrong to happen to a man of God. I completely resolved with my God to fully trust you and I will do everything in this world to protect your interest and the interst of Catholic Church. I am sure that at the end of my life, I have an answer, for my God to account fpr all my deeds in the world. Because of this, I will never never be a party to anything devilish. What I hate in my life is human being to doubt me or don't have trust in me. It makes me feel like dying. That's the only word I told my husband before I married him. I told him about trust. Even now that he has passed on, I still maintains that trust of not disappointing him.

Please your Holiness, reassure me your confidence and trust for I will not disappoint you. Instead of misleading you, I rather stay hungry and suffer the way am suffering, please take my directions.

(1). There was a mix-up about Isaac Khunga and Desmond Anna. Let me explain.
Desmond Anna is somebody appointed to assist you until the whole transaction is over within the few days you would be in Bangkok. So, feel free with him because he is well known to me. While Isaac Khunga is a personal assistance to Desmond Anna. And he is the person that his photograph will be sent to you and he is the one to receive you at the airport. these are the only two people you would be dealing with.

In respect of the amount you were asked to bring by the Security Company, please your Holiness, I want you to know that I have no control over it. Two months ago they wrote me a letter informing me of the demurrage and handling charges, but I never knew that it will amount to this kind of money. Before sending this money out, please deduct whatever the amount spent including your travelling and hotel expenses before the disbursement and possible investments. Well, I don't know if you are going to do it, but please do whatever you can to help conclude this transaction.

This is the sweat of my Husband. We passed through hell.

Your Holiness, I am looking forward to touching cloth by the Grace of God. Please reassure Sister Anita of your safety. I will not be a party for anything to harm a man of God especially somebody like you.

May Almighty God Bless your Lordship. Till I hear from you.

Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs. Judith Kante.

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/9)

Your Holiness,

Greetings in the name of Jesus.

How is Sister Anita? I sent a mail to Sister Anita inquiring after her health. I also sent you a mail on the same day Saturday last week.

Please confirm if you have received the photograph of Mr. Isaac Khunga  with the placard and with the inscription on it as requested by you. This is because they have copied me with that photograph and I forwarded same to you on Saturday the 7th of June 2003. Uptil this moment I am yet to receive a confirmation/acknowledgement to that effect.

I am still waiting to hear from you and possibly your traveling program to Bangkok.

May Almighty God Bless your Lordship.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Judith Kante.

From Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (6/9)

Hi Mrs. Kante,

How are you my dear?  I am fine.  I understand you completely and know that you would never let God down.  God has a special place for you, I just know it.  Hell is reserved for those who do wrong, like lie, kill, cheat, steal, masturbate, and act badly.  You don’t do those things so you will be rewarded.  You, like myself, are a woman of Godsmack.  I, stand alone, before the lord, and say, “I’m not the one who’s so far away.”  I’m excited to go on this journey with you and Father Touchme.  We will join forces and help you.  When we are done with that, you will help us in our plan to make Catholicism the only religion in the world.  Total freaking dominance.  The Catholic plan, if you will.

Father Tuchme told me to tell you he received the picture.  Good job.  He will be in touch.  Jesus will be carrying us like a bush in a tree.

Talk to you soon,

Sister Anita Hanchob

Des Kwame Annan to Father Tuchme (6/8)

Dear Father Will U. Tuchme.

Good day, this is the third time I'm sending message to you without response from you, though I can understand your carefullness, however I need  more details inofrmation from you hence Mrs. Judith Kante have briefed me  your details of coming, I have sent the required information to you but to my surprise, Madam told me that you have not recieved it,  here is the detail information for your coming, Mr. Isaac Khunga whom the picture is attarched here will recieve you at the airport with the sign, Fathe Will U. Tuchme, he will take very good care of you while you are here, the hotel reservation will be made for you as soon as you confirm your date of coming, kindly indicate to me your choice of Hotel, the company informed me that we have total demorrage of $37,850 to balance them, this amount must be paid to them before delievering the consignment to us. with this arrangement the transaction will be concluded within two days of your coming.  I look forward for your response.

Regards.
Des Kwame Annan.

From Mrs. Kante to Sister Hanchob (6/11)

Dear Sister Anita,

Thank you for your beautiful mail.  I am glad to know that Father Tuchme liked the picture. I made sure that they do
exactly what Father Tuchme wants.

Sister Anita, I must tell you this is my only opportunity to have a great future for me and my son, so I will do everything possible to comply with father Tuchme instructions.

God is on my side because I will always do anything in this world to satisfy my God. Please tell His Holiness that I am anxiously would like to know when he is coming to Thailand. At least if I don’t have anything, I will arrange a beautiful flower to present to him.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Your Sister – in - the – Lord.

Judith Kante.

From Father Tuchme to Des Kwame Annan CC to  Mrs. Kante (6/11)

My dearest friends and children under the weight of the Lord:

I am very sorry for the delay in my response. My Internet connection was temporarily removed as my computer was searched by Church officials. Thank God for Zip disks, where I keep my most important... documents. I have also been extremely busy. Sister Anita has told me of your correspondence which fills me with a spirit so intense that I Touch Cloth immediately when I think about it. I have also received the picture of Mr. Isaac Khunga, who will be meeting me at the airport in Bangkok. He is a very handsome young man, is he Catholic? Does he Touch Cloth?

This weekend I was at retreat with many of the young boys of my Diocese. I frequently take them to Turtle's Head Island in Morning Wood, New York. I hope that one day, when this transaction is secured, we can all be together in such a place in peace and under the eye of the lord.

I have some wonderful news. I am investigating flights to Bangkok for next week. As of yet I have not solidified anything due to not being quite sure of my Vatican Visit. I am planning to arrive on Wednesday June the 18th. Will this be appropriate? The good news is that I will be bringing Sister Anita with me! She does not know yet, but I wished to make it a surprise; she does love to fly.

This leads me onto one more thing. Your photograph did mean so much to me and it did prove that you are serious about all of this. I am securing $40,000 of my personal funds from a couple of websites I own, and will have this converted to Travelers' Checks. This is to handle the taxes and demurrage charges. (I understand that this will be reimbursed when the transaction is completed, right?). To surprise Sister Anita, can I ask you one more favor? It is also a bit of a necessity for church law. Would you have one more picture taken, and this time have the sign read "Father Will U. Tuchme and Sister Anita Hanchob." This will make her day! How much do these photographs cost, by the way? I will be more than happy to reimburse the cost.

I will be back in touch later today with more specific details of flights. Please do work on that picture as soon as possible. It really will be a great surprise for Sister Anita and we need a copy for our church archives, anyway.

In hope that you will forgive me for my lateness of reply and that the Lord will keep us all blessed,

I remain,

Father Will U. Tuckme

P.S. I noted that Mr. Desmond says he tried to e-mail several times. This is the first one I received from him.

P.P.S.  Please don't tell Anita about the surprise!

rom Mrs. Kante to Sister Hanchob (6/12)

Dear father,

Thanks in Jesus name for your mail. It was such an enlivening piece of mail.

This is in consonance with my dream of the woman with the issue of blood, who upon touching the hem of Lord’s garment, got instantly healed. I had this dream a day before yesterday. Once I had the dream, I woke up in the middle of the night and recited my rosary in praise, knowing that with you by my side, my predicament is over. Praise the Lord!

Yes, Saturday the 18th of June as your arrival date is fine. I think for now this remains tentative, until you have it confirmed from the airline, which hopefully you will communicate to me as soon as you are Okayed.

Meanwhile, I am going to Sattahip for an interview to formalize my refugee status. Sattahip is a port city in Thailand. Once I return, I shall take another photograph and forward to you. The cost of the photographs is not so much of a problem, though I have little or no discretional funds at my disposal.

As instructed, I shall keep your intention to take sister Anita with you, away from her, till you surprise her yourself. What a pleasant surprise it will be.

I wait eagerly for your confirmation of your flight schedule later today.

Goodbye and may the peace of the Lord which passes all understanding continue to be with you and Sister Anita.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Judith Kante.

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/12)

Dear Mrs. Kante:

I am refreshed to back in contact with you. It has been so long. Your dream of touching cloth has brought tears to my eyes. I pray that you will always touch cloth.

I have booked airfare tickets for myself and Sister Anita. We will be travelling first class. Here are the details:

We are flying British Airways for the duration of the trip. We will fly from New York to London first.

BA 9
London to Bangkok
Departing Tuesday, June 17th at 10:30 PM
Arriving in Bangkok Wednesday, June 18th at 4:00 PM

We will be leaving on Wednesday the 25th. Does this give us enough time?

I will book us into a suite at the Bangkok Marriott, Riverside. Is this a nice hotel?

Please, Mrs. Kante, I would very much like to recieve the second picture and am very glad you will tend to it after your business. I am also very interested in doing missionary position work with young boys there. I know you will help. Sister Anita will touch cloth when she sees the picture of the sign with her name on it too! Don't you think it will be a lovely way to suprise her?

I am thrilled that we will be able to stand together under the Lord's blessing. Until that day,

I am,

Father Will U. Tuchme

P.S. Please make sure that his is Ok with Mr. Des Anna. I have misplaced his address.

P.P.S. I would like to bring gifts for you all. What would you like to receive?

Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (6/12)

Dear Mrs. Kante,

Beset the lord by which he walks upon, armed with nothing but a stone and a hair pick.  May he play his enemies like a game of chess.  He who walks behind the roads can kill one stone and two birds.  Rub a dud, thank you Lord for the grub.

You will have to excuse me as I am extremely tired.  I took a Vicatin and had a Mimosa.  How are you my dear?  I walked in on the Father's booth in confession yesterday.  I had to make it quick because I interrupted him and little Timmy.  Father was consoling him and was nice enough to get in Timmy's side of the booth with him and let Jesus speak to him.  Not Jesus Rodriquez, the church janitor, but the real deal.  He told me that he has written you and things are going as planed.  Right on.

I pray for you dear.  Every freaking day.  I pray.  I know everything is going to be all right because it is the way God wants it.

Praying like a mother.

Sister Anita Hanchob

From Des Kwame to Father Tuchme 6/12)

Dear  Father Will  U. Tuchme.

Good day, I recieved information from Madam about your arrival date, kindly reconfirm to us again to enable me make neccesary arrangement of recieving you at the airport, Mr. Isaac Khunga will be around to recieve you on your arrival, however I dont think there is need of adding extra name on the sign with him, you will identify him with the Sign, Father Will U, Tuchme. the hotel you mentioned is okay though I have not been there before, in Thailand you will contact me with this Phone number  017455201 but if you are calling from State, 66-1-7455201.  I look forward to meet you in Thailand.

Regards.

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/13)

Your Holiness,

Whatever you dream that is good for me, that will be very fine. I really on't want to borther you. You have done much to my life already.  I will be looking forward in seeing you in Bangkok. Have a very wonderful
day and remain blessed.

Yours sincerely,
Mrs Judith Kante.

From  Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/13)

My dear Mrs. Kante:

I am always thrilled to hear from you. I too am looking forward to seeing you in Bangkok with Sister Anita at my side, however, I am most perplexed by the behaviour of your collegue, Mr. Desmond Anna. I received e-mail from him within which he seems somewhat sly and mysterious. It almost makes me feel like he is playing a game with me. This is no reflection of my feelings towards you--I know you would not play any sort of games with me--but I feel like he is just after my money, perhaps he is.

It is time for total truth between us. You have a large sum of money that you need to release before you can live a fulfilling life. Please remind me as to the ammount. If I come to Bangkok and invest $40,000, I will receive a percentage. (can you let me know how much I will get again?) I am also paying a great deal of money for first class airline tickets for me and Sister Anita. Why will Desmond Anna not do me the simple courtesy of providing another picture of Isaac Kwumba holding a sign with both Sister Anita's and my name on it? He claims it is not necessary when I have already told him it is. I need it for Sister Anita to travel (for church law) and to surprise her. If I am to invest, I expect this small courtesy. Inform Mr. Anna that my tickets are fully refundable and I can cancel at any time.   Please advise.

I have decided on the perfect gift for you. A pearl necklace! If I can spend time with you, I would like to put it on you myself. I could also display it on nice pink jewelers cushions if you prefer.

In the lord and with the gift of his blessings,

I am,

Father Will U. Tuchme

From Des Kwame to Father Tuchme 6/13)

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  She obviously didn't get the point of the pearl necklace.

Dear Father Will U. Tuchme.

Good day, here is another picture with the required  Identification, the Name of the person to recieve you at the airport is Isaac Khunga, kindly reconfirm you arrival time so that he will be they early to recieve you. I look forward to meet you and Sister Anita in Thailand.

Best Regards.
Des Kwame Annan

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY!

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/13)

Your Holiness,

Thank you for the confidence and trust you have in me. I am overwhelmed with joy for your kindness to beautify me with a pearl necklace. That this is gift is coming from you makes it very special to me because it's a blessing.  Father,precious tears of joy is flowing from my eyes.

I received your letter and was greatly disappointed with Desmond Anna. I just felt like the world is collapsing on me. Your holiness, how can I miss the only opportunity I have to secure a brilliant future. Honestly, if I miss this chance, I would remain unhappy for the rest of my life.

I have already gotten in touch with Desmond Anna and expressed your dissatisfaction with him. He was very apologetic. Please forgive him, father. He is a perfect christian gentleman. he can never play game with you. Perhaps, he misunderstand you. I have made him realise that you are not an ordinary citizen, I told him you are a respected clergy in the world, therefore he must be extremely humble and co-operative with you. He has promised to be respectful and to comply with all your directives. He will also pay you all the courtesy you deserve. father, my knees are on the floor. Please don't be upset. Remember you are doing everything for my sake, we need him because he is playing a big role in this transaction. Have patience with him, he would send the photograph
immediately.

As per your parcentage, you would receive 40% of $28,500,000.00 (Twenty- Eight Million, Five Hundred Thousand United State dollars). You are investing a great time and money, so you deserve a good percentage.

Your holiness, please let me know when you receive the photograph. Remember I am your daughter in the Lord. You are all I have, I am ever willing to provide you with answers to all your questions.

My regards to sister Anita. I wouldn't want to write sister Anita now because I don't want to make the mistake of disclosing the surprise package you have for her.

I expect to hear from you.
Your daughter in the Lord,
Judith Kante.

From Mrs. Kante to Sister Hanchob 2 emails in a row (6/16)

Dear Sister Anita,

I actually received your mail. I am sorry I delayed a little bit in replying.  How is your present condition of health? I hope you are getting better. God will always be there for you. Did you touch cloth this last Sunday? Did his Holiness preside over the mass and what was the Sermon.

His Holiness was very angry with the behaviour of Desmond Ann. However, I did my best to talk to Desmond to be very respeatful and courteous to Father. I believe by now everything is okay. Please help me to talk to his holiness so that he will stop being angry. Please advise his holiness that he should consider God and my position in all his action. Everything will be okay.

I just wanted to know how you are doing.
Remain blessed.

Your - Sister -in -the-Lord,
Mrs.Judith Kante.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Jesus lady, give me a chance to answer. Can't she see I'm busy touching the cloth?

Dear Sister Anita,

I have not heard from you or father.What is happening?Is everything alright with you people?Is father still coming to Thailand?I wrote you an email today and up till this moment,I not heard from any one of you and 'am not really comfortable with this situation.My concern is if you people are in good health for that is my problem now.

Please,let somebody email me so that I know what is happening.

Regards,
Mrs. Judith.

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/16)

Dear father,

Since today I have not heard from you. Is everything alright with you? How is sister Anita? Is she alright? Please let me know your present condition of health, it is very important I hear from you, I am not comfortable any more.

Are you still coming to Thailand? Please re-confirm.

Yours Truly,
Mrs Judith Kante.

Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (6/17)

Dear Mrs. Kante,

Surprise!  I'm in London with Father Tuchme.  I'm so excited that I'm coming with him.  He is always full of tricks and dicks.  I can't believe I am actually going to Bangkok, literally.  We are coming to help you my dear.  In the flesh.  I'm so happy, like the time I woke up to a white Christmas and Father Tuchme was standing there.  Hopefully we will be able to provide you with relief.

When the lord says "relief," we say together, "Sister Anita Hanchob!"  This is going to be great.

Sorry I did not write sooner.  I was touching the cloth on Sunday like you said.  The holiness did preside over the mass and performed the Erik Sermon solo, not the EPMD.

The father could never be angry at you my child.  He just wants you to know that he is the HNIC.

We will see you soon.

With the lord I cum,

Sister Anita Hanchob

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/17)

My dearest Mrs. Kante:

Greetings form London! I apologize immensely for not mailing before we left, but I was so busy trying to leave and making arrangements such as incontinence pants for Sister Anita. I received the photograph of Mr. Isaac  and it was all that I needed. Sister Anita was so suprised! A million thank yous are extended to you all for this courtesy. Such a handsome man is Mr. Issac. I am sure that one day he will be famous! I will work to make him so in my own humble way. I envision his good looks on t-shirts and lunch boxes everywhere.

In regards to Mr. Anna, I am sorry that I came across as overly criticle. I just expect respect and cooperation in a deal of this magnitude. I look forward to meeting you all tomorrow. Did you ever manage to arrange any missionary work for me.

Sister Anita and I are in a cyber cafe here in Heathrow airport. Our flight to Bangkok leaves in several hours. I do despise layovers. It is:

BA 9
London to Bangkok
Departing Tuesday, June 17th at 10:30 PM
Arriving in Bangkok Wednesday, June 18th at 4:00 PM

We will arrive there in Thailand at 4:00PM local time. I do so hope you can be in the airport. I have the travellers checks to pay the taxes and demmurage fees. Please do not panic, my Dear Mrs Kunte, all will be well. I also have your pearl necklace. I can't wait for you to wear it.

Until we see you at the airport I will continue to pray with Sister Anita.  She tells me she just sent mail to you and now she is off to the duty free store to buy bourbon and ciggarettes.

In love and in your mother and in her mother before her with the blessings of the Lord,

I am,

Father Will U. Tuchme

P.S. We have not booked a hotel yet. I am sure we can arrange this when we arrive. Please let us know.

P.P.S. Please let Mr. Desmond know that we are still going to be there tomorrow.

From Mrs. Kante to Sister Hanchob (6/18)

Dear Sister Anita,

Wow! You are in London. What a thing of great joy. Indeed that was good of Father Tuchme. It was a pleasant surprise. God will bless him.

I am greatly satisfied and encouraged by your affection towards me. As you know, I have nobody else in the world except my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and of course you and Father Tuchme.

Sister Anita, I’m sorry to say that I wouldn’t be able to come to the Airport to receive you and Father Tuchme. I took a trip to Sattahip, our refuge camp but unfortunately the authority said I had used up my outing time for the month and that I can only be permitted to go on outing in first week of July. I shed tears because I really look forward to meeting with you and Father Tuchme at the Airport. But I’m consoled by the fact that I will be meeting you and Father Tuchme in New York by next month.

Please, please try to understand my inability to be at the Airport. It is not my fault. We are refuges who are under strict control.

Be assured that you and Father Tuchme would be adequately taken care of by Mr. Desmond Anna and Mr. Isaac.

They are good Christians, so feel safe and free with them.

God bless you.

Your sister – in – the – Lord.
Mrs. Judith Kante.

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/18)

Dear Mrs. Kante:

I am most dissapointed, indeed. When we arrived in Bangkok, there was nobody waiting to meet us at the airport. The only person holding a sign was a man dressed in blue. The name on his sign was Mr. Bukkake. We waited and waited then eventually took a taxi to the Marriott Hotel at 4 Sukhumvit Road, Soi 2.

We were so exhausted after our flight and travelling that we went straight to our rooms. Sister Anita is not well. I fear that the trip has taken much out of her.

We are very dissapointed. I expect to meet your contacts in the Marriott Cafe' for breakfast at 10.00 AM. Instruct your peons not to call as we will be sleeping as much as possible. Should we not be on time, go ahead and have breakfast. I will allow you to sign the bill to my room.

You have created a terrible mess. I am tired and wounded by the lack of courtesy. Already several business men have inquired as to my money and commodities. I could always find another partner.

Sincerely,

Father Will U. Tuchme

P.S. I will see your men in the morning.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Lets see how happy they are when we don't show.

From Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/18)

Dear Father Will,

Greetings in Jesus Name! How is Sister Anita?  Please Father; Mr.Khunga and Desmond informed me a while ago that after waiting for you at the Airport, they did not se you.

Why? Were you not on the flight as you had confirmed to me earlier? I am confused. Kindly get back to me with the situation of things by return mail NOW. I am afraid, your safety and well being is my paramount concern.

I am really worried, and your immediate reply will assuage my fear.

Meanwhile, DO NOT GIVE ANY MONEY TO ANYBODY WITH OUT HEARING FROM ME FIRST, FOR CONFIRMATION.

Father please, please I am waiting.

Regards,
Mrs. Judith Kante.

From  Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/18)

Your Holiness,

Kindly give me the telephone number of that Hotel.

Please Father, DO NOT ALLOW ANYBODY TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE THERE. BEACUSE I WOULDN'T WANT ANY REASON FOR YOU TO BLAME ME.

I am terribly wounded and disappointed myself if you check the time now, you will find out that I have not slept I have been really down and despair. And I am not going to rest until this fund is moved out of Bangkok, while you are still there.

I think what they are want me to do was to deposit it with them so that they will make so much interest of it and probally shortchnage me out of it.

Please your Holines, do not allow this to happen to your daughter. You are already out to assist me. Please do not go back at this time, because of this little disappointment.

Me and my son count on you.

Yours sister in Christ,
Mrs. Judith Kante.

PROFANATOR NOTE:  You can almost hear the desperation!  I love it!

From  Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/19)

Your Holiness,

It is with a sorrowful heart that I write you this letter. I am still in a state of shock as to why Desmond Anna could have disrespected your Holiness. Well, he has lost the only blessing he would have received from the man of God. He will never get another opportunity.

I remember you foresaw his sly attitude and you alerted me but I never knew that this man never wanted my progress in life. Shame to him forever. Father if you love me and want to wipe away tears from my eyes, you have to forget him entirely and help me with this transaction.

Father, I hope you received my instructions yesterday. I have already applied to Pacific Bank Plc for the transfer of this money and I am in regular contact with them. Mr.Koffi Smith who introduced me to Desmond Anna is solidly behind me and is working very hard to make sure that  this transfer is successful. Father, please I’m on my knees, please stay for only 48 hours so that this transaction will be concluded. I know the bank wants to make profit on this money by having it deposited with them for sometime. But father, we won’t let them. The money has to be transferred out immediately to US. I am asking a lot of questions and people are advising me continuously. I am 250 miles from where you are, so the only way I can communicate with you now is by e-mail. Your Holiness it is expected that everything about this transaction will be concluded within the next 48 hours. Everything in under control. I shall send you the transfer slip before you depart for US.  Please do not have anything to do with Desmond Anna; he is a big disappointment to have treated you with disrespect. Indeed, in my country we call Bishop Our Lord. I can’t imagine him treating you with no courtesy. I now know he is not a true Catholic because all Catholics all over the world respect Bishops and Rev.Fathers.  He will regret his action for the rest of his life. I wish I were there to give him a piece of my mind.

I can imagine how terribly inconvenienced and let down it has been for you and Sister Anita. Honestly, I have not had a good sleep since I heard about this disappointment. But God is not asleep. He will come to my aid. I remember what God said in the Book of Proverbs 3:5 that we must not learn on our own understanding but rather we should trust him completely with all our worries.

There is nothing greater than God. With him all things are possible. I am greatly annoyed with Desmond. I won’t curse him but I pray that one day one of their mothers will be a widow so that they will know how it feels to be a widow.

Your Holiness, I want the money transferred directly to you in US. Your trip will never be a waste. I know and appreciate what it takes for a person of your exalted position to leave United States, thousands of miles to Visit Bangkok. I must ensure that you have a rewarding journey. Your Holiness, there is no good journey that goes straight. At the end of the day we will all rejoice.

Please start using your 40% of the money until I come over to the US. You are all I have and I trust you completely. Sleep well Your Holiness. God will bless you and Sister Anita. I will be in constant touch with you.

Your daughter in the Lord,
Mrs. Judith Kante

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/19)

Mrs. Kante:

Please help us.

Nobody met us for breakfast this morning, so Sister Anita suggested that we check out the sights in Bangkok. Needless to say Sister Anita was so overcome by mid morning that she collapsed in the street. I have been by her side at the hospital since then. She is non responsive and all I can do is pray.

We came here with the sweetest of intentions and now my beloved Sister lies recumbent in illness. The upset and stress over not being met at the airport and being given the run about has enflamed Sister's acute angina--and when she was young, she didn't have a bad pair of shirt potatoes either.

To add to it all, you are now claiming that you will wire the money to my account!!?? How can you do this when the whole idea of me coming here was to release the money to which you had no access. Answer me that. Are you lying to me?

I am back at my hotel changing cloths. I expect you to send someone to meet us at the hospital at once. It is:

Bangkok General Hospital - International Medical Centre, 2 Soi 7, Soi Soonvijai, New Petchburi Road

You have endangered dear Sister Anita's life. You are now saying you can get the money. Make up your mind and tell me how to proceed.

For the first time, I am alone.

Father Will U. Tuchme

From  Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/20)

Dear Father,

Where are you? I am very worried. My sister Elizabeth was in your hotel this morning and she was told you checked out yesterday. Please your holiness I need to know where you are. Are you in the hospital with siter Anita. My sister will be there right away. Please indicate where you are by return mail.

Regards,

Kante(Mrs)

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  What?  Your sister said we checked out.  Pretty amazing since we never checked in.

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/20)

Mrs. Kante:

Lament with me Judith, our great sister is gone. She passed restlessly at 4:30 Am. I am sitting with her body at a different hospital where she was transferred late last night. My dearest Sister Hanchob is gone, I am saddened beyond words. The only consolation I have is the name of the Lord and my ability to be with young males when I return. I have not slept properly in two days. Anita Hanchob desperately.

I am saddened by you and your business partners. It is not that I blame you for Sister's death, but I do see disrespect as a major factor. Anita's last thoughts were of you and your son. In fact, shortly before she passed, she mentioned  a letter I am to retrieve from her luggage. I wonder what it says.

Tears are clouding my judgement Mrs. Kante. I am checking into a different hotel and am very wary of who to trust since your dealings with Mr. Desmond. So many people here are offering me business partnerships. In the hospital waiting room I met a couple named Maram and Sule who offered me a similar arrangement. Can I trust you Mrs Kante?

As is required by church law, If I am to meet a new person, I am to have a photograph of them holding a sign with my name on it. Prove to me that this new person is real and honest by doing this and arranging for said person (Elizabeth) to also be holding a bunch of flowers in Anita's memory, in the photograph.

I am in no hurry to leave Bangkok, as my airline tickets are open. I believe that Anita would want me to stay and do some good. This time, I will not let you know where my money and I are until you prove yourself.

These wire transfers sound like a pipedream.

I am devistated, and in morning the loss of my dear sister in the lord,

I am,

Father Will U. Tuchme

From  Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/21)

Your Holiness,

It is with rude shock and a heavy heart that I received the bad news of sisterAnita's death. Ever since you told me she collapsed on the road, I have been praying the rosary. Why would God allow this to happen to me. Father, it's my fault because if only I was there to receive the only woman that loved me and my son, I would have lived. Father, how can I sleep today. I am now in a mournful state. I am crying. I can imagine the ugly experience you are going through. What a trauma this must have been. May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace. My son is also crying because I told her so much about sister Anita. I always show him sister Anita's mails and photograph. Your holiness, how are you coping with the embalment. She will be flown to US for burial, I suppose. What a great loss to the Catholic faith and to me and my son.

Father, I know you are really disappointed with Mr. Desmond Anna. But your holiness, don't let his irresponsible behaviour discourage you. Already, you are begining to distrust me and I am not happy about it. I feel sad because I am a very sincere and truthful person. The other time you asked me if I was lying to you and now again you are asking me if you can trust me. You said this time you will not let me know where you and your money are staying until I prove myself.  Father, why are you talking to your daughter like this. I have handed over my future completely to you. If you abandon me now, my son and I will have no option but to die in the refugee camp.

I have never for one day disrespected you and I will never disrespect you. Why would you, your holiness group me with Desmond Anna. Well, I will not disobey you because I know that deep down you love me and want the best for me and my son. I have instructed  my sister, Elizabeth to take a photograph holding a bunch of flowers in sister Anita's memory. It will be mailed to you tomorrow.  But your holiness, please trust me and give me the address of where you are staying so that she can send it to you. She's also very sympathetic with your condition and wants to come and sympathise with you.

Your Holiness, it is very important I share my honest feeling with you about all these strangers that are eager to discuss things with you. Please Father be very careful and do not let people know where you are in Bangkok and where you are staying. I don't want anybody to harm you. You are all I have as sister Anita has gone to the bossom of the lord. Like you said, I believe sister Anita would want you to stay in Bangkok and do good. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this transaction will be successful. God has already revealed it to me in my dream. Father all is well in Jesus name.

I know you are lamenting but father please be strong and lets succede so that sister Anita's spirit will be fullfilled.  I believe her spirit will guide us.  Manage and try to keep in touch. Once again, may sister Anita's spirit rest in peace. May God give you the courage to bear this irreparable loss.

Your daughter-in-the-Lord

Judith Kante

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/21)

Dear Judith,

Thank you my dear, I really need your support.  Through these tough times I need the Lord to carry me and offer me the reach around of the Gods.  This loss is a big one and it hurts bad.  It's like it went in with no ky.  I, I will survive.  As long as I have my children and faith I will know how to stay alive.

I want to read you the letter she left.  I feel I owe it to her.  It is a little tough but don't take it to heart.  She was a little delusional before she slipped into her coma.  Here we go:

Dear Judith and Desmond,

If you are reading this, that means I have moved on to the next life.  God has embraced my frail body and I am in the middle of an orgy filled with angels.  I will finally be with my savior and be able to answer the age old question from the great philosopher Tupac Shakur who asked "I wonder if heaven got a ghetto."  One might say that I am happy and in a better place.  I say "bullshit!"

I can't believe my last days on this planet are going to be in this rat infested fucking country.  You sons of bitches.  You mother fuckers.  May God strike you all down where you are standing.  All those years of kissing the ass of a freaky pedophile for a lousy pay check.  Now I'm going to die in this dirty SARS infested hospital with this gay R. Kelly mother fucker.  I could have died in so many other ways.  You fuckty fuck fuuucks. You mmom..

That's where the letter ends.  There was a little more but the writing was so sloppy, then she passed out.  See what I mean, she was a little crazy.  Anyway, I think it is important to get the transaction done so we don't let Sister Anita Hanchob die in vain.  I'm glad you are having Elizabeth send the photo because I  want to get going on this.  Her death has given me renewed spirit.  I want to help you and then the young troubled boys of bangkok.  Sister Kante, are you with me?  Let's touch the cloth.  What do you say?

Father Will U. Tuchme

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/23)

Dear Mrs. Kante:

Why have I not heard from you this weekend? I have been furiously busy and so very very alone during it all. Are you saddened by Sister Anita's final letter? I am too Mrs. Kante, and I do not know what to say. Sister Anita has been of poor health for a long time and her mental acquity has not been what it should be. As happens with the old, she touched cloth several times a day.

In response to your questions, Sister Anita's body was flown back to the U.S. yesterday to lay in waiting at the Touching Cloth sanctuary until I return later this week. I have spent the weekend halfheartedly wandering around Bangkok checking out the sights. I have found an excellent source of relief in the young boys for hire. I only just checked my e-mail and am deeply upset to not have a picture of your sister Elizabeth or mail from you. You say you will die in a refuge camp, but you are not trying to
console me or complete this transaction. I have been in tears since Friday, but I have still been focused. I ask you the question, do you want my help or shall I deal with Maryam and Sule? I am meeting tem for lunch at twelve PM tomorrow.

I suggest you reply and get me a photograph. I will not give you my new location until I am proved you need me and are honest. I do not have Sister Anita's guidance any more. You must listen if you want this money.

In sadness I remain,


Father Will U. tuchme

From  Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/23)

Your Holiness,

Since you don't trust me, I am no longer interested for your help. Besides, the way you accuse me of being a party to sister Anita's death because nobody waited at the airport. Nobody is sure you actually came to Bangkok because we checked the air line manifest and there was nothing like your name or sister Anita's name. Because of all these, I am of the opinion that you are deceiving me.

God bless you for your interest to help.

Mrs Kante

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  We are "deceiving" her?  How interesting.  It took that dumb shit this long to figure it out.

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/24)

Judith:

I am shocked and truly saddened. What have you done to gain my trust? I am here to help you. I have money for the transaction.

I know for a fact that you are not allowed to check passenger manifests so you are a liar! That is right, a liar under the name of the lord and you will be smitten with holy bukkake!

Explain yourself at once. I am only here for a few more days and unless you buck up your ideas I will be doing business with maryam and sule. See the attached pictures.

With the Lord's fire and wrath,

Father Will U. Tuchme

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Remember these two clowns?

From  Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/24)

Your holiness,

I have received your mail and the attached photographs.  Well, father if you find those guys good and honest, go ahead and do business with them.

I am no longer interested. I have utmost respect for you, your holiness because of your initial desire to assist my son and me. But I must tell you that lately you changed in your attitude towards me by completely distrusting me.

I have done nothing wrong to offend you.

Thank you for all your kindness and effort so far.

Yours Kante

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/24)

Judith:

I am livid!

With these words I excummunicate you from the Roman Catholic Church:

ave aquea tossme wan-ker aria areola nipplus erecto scrotana ina yore facem.

You will rot in hell as a slave to satan's sexual desires!

With the power of the lord,

Father Will U. Tuchme

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Now she's pissed him off.  Look out.  I'm going to assume it's time to let them in on the joke.

From Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (6/24)

Dear Mrs. Kunte,

Surprise. I'm writing you from the dead. Heaven is amazing. Everything is beautiful and there are NO NIGERIAN SCAM ARTISTS. Can you believe that, none.

God doesn't want them and he sends them here:

www.ebolamonkeyman.com

Tell me what you think of this as I would love to hear your opinion.  Silly MUGU, you made the site already.

From the grave to in your ass,

Sister Anita Hanchob

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/25)

Dear Judith Cunt:

Commonality and reciprocity are the cornerstones of every good relationship. I know your name is not Judith Kante. Neither is my name Father Will U. Tuchme. There, the common threads between us end my friend. To reciprocation:

Now, I know the above sentence was hard to grasp,--I am a writer of the English Language, afterall--so I am going to be as gentle as possible, but I hope you take extreme offense.

YOU ARE A LYING SACK OF SHIT SCAMMER! I HAVE A REAL JOB ASSHOLE, AND I FUCK WITH YOU PUSSIES FOR FUN. I NEVER BELIEVED YOU, AND I HAD YOU WASTE A LOT OF TIME. HAA HAA HAA MOTHERFUCKER!

Jesus Christ, you are stupid. You actually went to have a picture of yourself taken for me, holding a sign with our names on... How fucking stupid and bad at scamming you are, boy!

I will explain for your stupid ass:

Father Will U. Tuchme = Father will you touch me

Sister Anita Hanchob = Sister I need a hand job.

You With Picture Holding Signs Saying These Things = Dumbass motherfucking mugu motherfucker.

So, you went to the airport, you went to the hotel, you probably went to the hospital and you sure as shit went and had those stupid ass photo's taken.  We wasted your liar's time and now people all over the internet, and world, will be laughing at your poor-looking ass in the monkey suit.

I apologize, my name is the Profanator and it is my mission to waste your time, bitch. My partner, who you know as Sister Anita is the Ebola Monkey Man and if you go to his website www.ebolamonkeyman.com you will see pictures of your dumb ass. You will even be on a tee-shirt! Now that, is funny.

You are a sick bastard that I would like to pummel into holy hell, and if I ever have the misfortune to be near you, I will.

By the way, Touching Cloth is when you need a crap really bad and you shit your pants. You said it tons! Thanks for the great laugh! So you are a pant shitting, incest lover. You are a sick, untalented fuck.

Please respond. Pretty please. Get angry, let it out... you have an audience!

Regards and love,

The Profanator (father, will you touch me?)

P.S. You photo has been circulated around the Bangkok police department and the Secret Service of the U.S. It is only a matter of time before you are enjoying the sensation of a prison cock up your jacksie!

P.P.S I hope you die motherfucker.

PROFANATOR NOTE:  Ebola, I am pissed. No word from Judith...

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: Another round of smacking?

PROFANATOR NOTE:  Indeed. My blood is boiling... inspire me with some good, fresh material. I know you keep on the cutting edge of scam-baiting technology...

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Just as the Profanator and I had that conversation, HE GOT MAIL!  YAY!

From  Mrs. Kante to Father Tuchme (6/26)

Hello,

You are a fool by making yourself a man of God, do you know what you have done to yourself??

A punishment upon punishment.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

From Sister Hanchob to Mrs. Kante (6/26)

Hey stupid MUGU fuck face,

How dare you not write me back.  I put you on my website and made you famous.  Everyone is laughing at you.  If you address the Profanator, you better include me too.

Listen, I want to talk to you as a friend.  I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't feel sorry for you.  Ready?

You are really bad at scamming and very stupid.  I mean really stupid.  I'm sorry, it's true.  People keep emailing me and telling me that they have never laughed so hard at a stupid person.  I think you should kill yourself and make the world a better place.  Go wrestle a tiger or something and get it over with.  You can't be happy going through life as a stupid MUGU.  Come on, what do you say?  Will you kill yourself please?  I'm going to list 5 ways I see you doing it.

5.  Suck in instead of blow out of your blow dart gun.  That way the poisonous dart will hit the back of your throat and you will die.

4.  Jump out of tree and land on your spear.  I think this one is very honorable, especially for a retard like you.

3.  Go swimming in a river with an alligator.  I heard stupid people taste like chicken.

2.  Try to see how many of the poisonous frogs you could eat before dying.  You know, the ones you use to make the darts and spears out of.  I bet you can't eat 10.  Come on, I'm daring you.

Hmmm, and the number one way to kill yourself is:

1.  Think yourself to death you stupid mother fucker.

God is even laughing at you fuck face.

Ebola Monkey Man
www.ebolamonkeyman.com

From Father Tuchme to Mrs. Kante (6/27)

Ass Clown:

I would like toadd my own suggestions for your timely demise:

1. Get trampled to death by elephants or zebras or both.

2. Get ass fucked by an elephant until globs of hot semen come out your ears.

3. Anger some poor schmo to the point that he comes out there and beats you to death.

4. Get ass fucked in prison till you die.

5. (My favourite) Kill yourself. You have no chance at scamming because you are stupid. Everybody hates you anyway even your tribe and God too.

Fuck of you slack jawed faggot.

Love,

The Profanator

From Father Tuchme to Des Anna (6/27)

Yo asswipe, I don't know if your stupid business partner told you, but we have been making fun of him/her. We know you are scammers.

Here is a song I wrote: please forward this to judith:



Mugu MotherFucker

Yo mugu

What?
You Scam

Where?
There in Bangkok!
Oh!
In a word or 2 - it's u I wanna fool

No not cha body, yo mind u fool

Come here baby, yeah
U Mugu motherfucker

We're all alone in a hotel in bangkok

That's in Thailand on the south side
In case u cared
Out of all yo business partners I wanna be the closest
That's why I tell u things
So u'll be the mostest
When it comes 2 life, 2 be this man's saviour

U got 2 be well educated on the subject of transactions

I mean the modalities of
In other words - its R.E.A.L meaning of this thing called demmurage

Are u up on this?
If so, then u can get up off your mugu ass

Come here baby, yeah
U Mugu motherfucker

Come here baby, yeah
U Mugu motherfucker

We need 2 talk about things
Tell me what cha do, tell me what cha son is dying of

I might send pictures 4 u
See it really don't matter cuz it's all about me and u
And this big ass transaction
even with the bank account details, fax and phone
I don't mind
See this ain't about money
It's all about security companies being in charge of this life
And the next...
Why all the financial talk?
I just want u smarter than I'll ever be
When we take that 15 percent for expenses

Come here baby, yeah
U Mugu motherfucker

Come here baby, yeah
U Mugu motherfucker

Oil company Executives stand please...

I like it, I like it

U seem perplexed I haven't spoken on the phone to u yet
Can't u see I'm more willing than a man can get
I got dreams of riches comin' out of my ears
I get mad if you don't send me a picture of you

But I can take it, cuz I want the whole $9,000,000 (Nine Million
U.S.Dollars)


This ain't about the transaction, it's about the time

Come here baby, yeah
U Mugu motherfucker

Come here baby, yeah
U Mugu motherfucker

Judith Kante in the house
Scrub the dishes, bitch

Come here Judith, yeah

Mugu, Mugu, Mugu, Mugu

blowgun, blowgun, yeah

[ooh man, let's give 'em some more good bullshit]

I like it, I like it

Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass
Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass

Guard your folks and get your lies straight
(Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass)
The Mugu motherfucker's so dumb I could piss in her bathwater
A stupid looking lip-lated Mugu Motherfucker"
(Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass)
Packing a brain as small as a grape
I want to spit some khat but I even lied to myself
hmmm...Just conversate (Yeah!) On my cell phone, baby
(Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass)
Cuz I'm usually quite the calm one (Come on!)
You never found me out scamming, boy
I'm just havin' fun with your dumb ass
(Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass)
But I'm happy 2 change my state of mind for this transaction
I bet that if you threw that money into the air it would turn into bullshit


mugu motherfucker
That would make shakin' that ass
4 one Mugu motherfucker shakin' this place shakin' that ass
shakin' that ass
Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass
Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass
Mugu motherfucker shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass

U Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker

U Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker
Mugu motherfucker

UPDATE!!!!!!!

Ebola Monkey Note: On March 7th, I received the following message from a Monkey Pox member. It seems like this mugu is still hurt.

Hi Ebola Monkey Man,

I sent a mugu some gay porn the other day as a way of getting rid of the prick and he gave an unexpected reply.

YOU ARE A BASTARD. AS OLD AS YOU ARE, YOU STILL BEHAVE LIKE A KID.

SHAME ON

YOU.

ALL YOU DO IN INTERNET IS TO GO ARROPUND LOOKING FOR NICKED WOMEN AND

GUYS.

NOW I KNOW THAT YOUR ARE A FUCKING GUY.

DON'T YOU SEND ME MAIL AGAING IN YOUR LIFE.

FATHER WILL YOU TOUCH ME. YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU?.

GO TO HELL.

It seems that he is probably one of your previous clients. He seems to think that you are the only baiter out there!!

He is at patrick_kante00@hotmail.com if you want to say hi and reminisce with him about the good ol' days. ;)

Ebola Monkey Note: Then he sent over another email.

You must have really rattled something loose in this guys brain. I asked him if he wanted some more and got this back. (By the way, I never claimed to be a priest. IN fact since we had only gone a week I never claimed to be anything. He is traumatized for life and convinced he is being stalked by the paedophile father.


LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU CALL YOURSELF,FATHER CHRITSMAS OR FATHER WILL YOU TOUCH YOUR MOTHER'S ASS. DON'T YOU EVER SEND THOSE NONSENSE TO ME AGAIN.

I KNOW THAT WHAT YOU HAVE BEING DOING ON NET IS TO CHECK NECKED WOMEN AND GUY. CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU ARE BEING PUNISHED BY GOD?. I KNOW YOU BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ME AND YOU CAN NEVER KNOW ME.

YOU HAVE BEING TOUCHED BY MY GUYS,THAT IS WHY YOU ARE DOING ALL THIS ON NET. YOU CALED YOURSELF A CHURCH FATHER AND YOU ARE NOT,OH YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE COMMITED FOR YOURSELF. YOU ARE A CONFUSED MAN. YOU HAVE SPENT
YOUR MONEY IN THIS DEAL AND ITE GONE FOREVER SO GO AND SIT YOUR ASS SOME WHERE OR TO HELL WHICH WILL BE BETTER FORE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE A LOOSER, IT IS YOUR INHERITANCE FROM YOUR FOREFATHERS OR WHAT EVERY.

WE HAVE SPOTED WHERE YOUR STAYING OK,IF YOU DON'T STOP,I PROMISE YOU THAT YOU WOULD BE GUN DOWN.BET ME AND YOU WILL BE WRITING EMAILS AND WACHING GUYS AND NECKED WOMEN IN HELL.

OLD FOOL.

Ebola Monkey Note: So the Profanator decided to drop our old friend a line.

From the Profanator to Patrick, March 9th 2004

Patrick, or what ever the fuck your name is...

I know you don't recognize the name, but I am the one who was playing Father Will U. Tuchme. A buddy just happened to fuck with you. I am going to put this concisely, so as not to confuse you. Are you ready? Good:

YOU ARE A STUPID LYING MUGU FUCKTARD!!! THERE IS NO TRANSACTION YOU POOR FUCKING LOSER!!! IDIOT, ELEPHANT FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

There you go. I see that you get all riled up by gay porn! Outstanding, I am sure I can find some on the net of you and your father butt fucking each others' asses.

So, how are you? I see that you are still a cunt scamming asstard. I hope you die soon.

By the way, did you ever go to www.ebolamonkeyman.com and see your picture on the front page with the rest of the fucking idiots? Go and check it out, the whole world is laughing at you.

Before you start with your "I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND I WILL SHOOT YOU", bullshit, I would like to let you know that you can blow it out your ass. Wait a second! There is an elephant cock in the way!

You are still stupid, Patrick, but I like you!

Father Tuchingyourfuckingmother
~ebolamonkeyman.com

P.S. Monkey, could you forward this to our buddy? Could you also amend the rest of the scam we did on this asswipe?

From the Patrick to Profanator, March 9th 2004

FATHER WILL YOU TOUCH YOUR MOTHER'S SMELLING ASS.

YOU ARE JUST A CHILD,BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE CHILDISH BEHAVOUR IN YOU.OH SHAM ON YOU,I THING I SHOULD GET YOU SOME TOYS. SO THAT YOU CAN CONTINUE TOYING.

YOU LOOSE .

THAT PERSON YOU THJOUGHT I AM, BE INFOMED THAT YOU LOOSED. I AM NOT THAT FUCKING PERSON THAT IS TOO CHEAP AND DAFT TO SEND HIS PICTURE TO YOU ASSHOLE.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOTHER. I WILL FUCK YOUR MOTHER TO DEATH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ebola Monkey Note: Nothing better than an angry scammer.

From the Profanator to Patrick, March 10th 2004

Morning my stupid Mugu pal!

I had trouble with your email because you suck so bad at English. I shall correct it and send it back to you.

So, if I read you right, you say I like toys and I am a child. YOU ARE A CRIMINAL SCAMMER, MUGU! I AM JUST IMMATURE! WHICH IS WORSE? GOAT FUCKING STUPID SUB-MORON.

By saying "YOU LOOSE" are you impling that I am loose, physically? Please let me know.

Patrick/Randi/Judith, I know you are the shit head that sent the picture. Hopefully other scammers will see it and laugh at how stupid you are. Do you kow how many people have seen it on the internet? I am enclosing a copy of it for your records. I am also enclosing a nice picture to get you hot you naughty Nigerian, you!

By the way, I donkey punched your mother last night and the bitch is still passed out on my bed. Could you get her ass the fuck out?

Regards,

Father Tuchme

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