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I want to personally thank everyone who sends fan mail. Although I may not post your mail, it doesn't mean I don't appreciate it. Keep it coming as it gets me through the day. The MONKEY loves you.
EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: I've always struggled conveying the message that I don't think all Nigerians are thieves. As a matter of fact, I think it's a case of a few bad apples spoiling a bunch. I received this email, entitled "Bitter Sweet", from a young lady who was raised in Nigeria. I think it's important to see another side and she communicates it beautifully. PLEASE READ IT!
I recently visited your site and nearly died from laughing, however for me the experience was kind of bitter sweet. I was happy that you were able to fool these scamming idiots, but on the other hand I was highly embarrassed.
You see I am a Nigerian girl studying in the U.S and I believe I would be doing my country, my family and friends a disservice by not at least trying to clarify some things.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE, in fact I wish I could start "scam baiting myself", but I am not as quick witted as you, I don't think I could come up with half the things you come up with, hilarious stuff.
Please see points below
Nigeria has the Largest Population in Africa, I believe there are about 100,000 million people. These 419 scammers do not even amount to a tenth of the population. I estimate that there are a handful of educated people(unfortunately government officials, businessmen,lawyers) who hire uneducated idiots to do their dirty work, hence the grammatically challenged emails. These group of people do not represent Nigeria or its people in any way. In fact there are three tribes in Nigeria, Yoruba(my tribe), Hausa, and Ibo, for some reason 95% of these scammers come from the Ibo tribe and have names like Prince Ingacious, etc. If you go to Nigeria, you will recognize them right away driving in Fancy cars and wearing Pimp suits(hehe), and their english is appalling, which automatically makes you wonder how they became rich.
There are a lot of hard working citizens in Nigeria who are trying to combat this problem, the only unfortunate thing is, nobody really wants to mess with them because they are kind of like the Mafia. So as not to risk their family, life, job, health, etc people just turn a blind eye. What you must understand is Nigerians are also suffering as a result of these scam artists. Up until the late 80's Nigerians could travel easily and were respected people around the world. We filled up Universities and Private Schools, in fact I remember when "Harrods"(Bristish department store) put up greetings in different languages,"Yoruba" a Nigerian dialect was included. Well, at that time, Oil was flowing, Foreign Exchange was good and nobody could have predicted what would happen. Now there is so much stigma attached to being a Nigerian.
The most important thing to remember is that we are all victims of these idiots, Nigerians and Non-Nigerians alike, white, black,whatever. Before I saw your website, I just used to reply to them " I HAVE SENT THIS EMAIL TO "International Police". I came accross your website because I was fed up of receiving the junk emails, and I was looking for a way to report them. As I stated in the begginning, my amusement turned to intrigue, from intrigue to shame. I was a victim of one of these people,but on a much smaller scale. It was summer of 1992, I was 17 years old. I flew home to Lagos, Nigeria for the Summer and was supposed to meet my family at the airport, due to some new rule at the airport, my family could not meet me inside at the gate, they had to meet me on the other end of the aiport, Naturally I was afraid, I did not want to be alone, I had a huge suitcase and did not know what to do. All of a sudden, a man comes up to me and says he is our new driver and I should follow him. I was hesitant because our parents always warned us" do not talk to anyone at the airport". I dont know why I beleived him, I took my eye of my luggage for a second and when I looked back, he was gone with my suitcase. Imagine, a 17 year old girl home for the summer, no clothes, gifts for my family etc". Anway, sorry for the sob story, but I just wanted to show that Nigerians are also victims of crime by their own people.
Last point is, you should be able to see from the fact that these idiots that
actually take pictures with phrases like: " I LIKE ANAL" are not
educated at all. It has nothing to do with Language barriers (main language
spoken in Nigeria is English). Some Phenominal stuff though. And the telephone
messages, my God!! Hilarious.
One big saying used a lot in Nigeria though is "GIVE HIM A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE". They like that eye for an eye crap, so you certainly did not dissapoint.
I guess the point I am trying to make here is that please when posting information about these scoundrels, please try to remember that they do not represent the whole nation. I love reading your stuff, but when I read NIGERIAN scammers, it hurts a lot or when I read comments about how Nigerians have bone in their noses, etc, I piss my pants laughing at the stuff, but it hurts. Please try not to generalize so much, and please let your readers know, WE ARE NOT ALL LIKE THIS, its just a fraction of the population.
Every third world (and even non third world)country has its crooks:
A. Nigeria(AFRICA)- 419 scammers
B. South America-Drug and People Trafficking
C. Middle East-Terrorists
D. Some parts of Asia -Prostitution and trafficking of Minors
And so on.......
A lot of people are a product of their environment, when you grow up poor and impoverished ,you start to think of creative ways to make money. ALTHOUGH IT CERTAINLY DOES NOT EXCUSE THEIR BEHAVIOR.
I LOVE YOUR SITE, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. I WILL KEEP READING, its funny as hell !!!!!!!!!!.
Ciao Ciao for now.
This email was sent to me by a police officer.
I have found your site to be really good. Maybe some of the people out there will wake up to what these clowns are doing. Iím a Police officer in a medium sized city and two years ago we took a missing person report. The lady had been involved in a Nigerian scheme and had already sent the scum $40,000. She was so upset that she still hadnít seen the promised millions that she bought a ticket and flew to Nigeria. She hasnít been seen nor heard from since. It doesnít serve them to let you get back on a plane since they can probably kill you and sell the ticket. Remember, they are after one thing, MONEY, and a little blood to get from some Westerner is no big deal.
E.M.M. - Enjoyed the site. I'm fairly new at researching the 419 stuff, but
have been dealing with it for about a year. I'm in law enforcement and I try
to keep these types of scams in the public eye and try to give sites like yours
to those I feel can handle them. (Nothing personal, but the 70yo types don't
appreciate sites like yours, artists against 419 and similar sites)
But, for law enforcement and anyone wanting information and insight into 419, these sites are great. Thanks and keep up the good work..
Hi Ebola Monkey Man,
I sent a mugu some gay porn the other day as a way of getting rid of the prick and he gave an unexpected reply.
YOU ARE A BASTARD. AS OLD AS YOU ARE, YOU STILL BEHAVE LIKE A KID.
ALL YOU DO IN INTERNET IS TO GO ARROPUND LOOKING FOR NICKED WOMEN AND
NOW I KNOW THAT YOUR ARE A FUCKING GUY.
DON'T YOU SEND ME MAIL AGAING IN YOUR LIFE.
FATHER WILL YOU TOUCH ME. YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU?.
GO TO HELL.
It seems that he is probably one of your previous clients. He seems to think that you are the only baiter out there!!
He is at [email protected] if you want to say hi and reminisce with him about the good ol' days. ;)
Dear Ebola Monkey,
I just wanted to let you know that your website truly cheered me up as I almost became a victim of a Nigerian scam. Even though they didn't get their money (fortunately, Western Union was smarter than me and caught it), I feel like a real idiot for falling for their trap. Your website provided relief and helped me feel like I got the last laugh! Thanks for your efforts - keep those scammers running in circles!
These were the "thank you" emails that I received from the Mensa organization. I spoke at their national convention in Las Vegas.
While I was able to attend only a small part of your presentation, I noticed that you had one of the most-entertained audiences of the entire gathering. I would say that you exceeded expectations, and thank you very much for making the trip to Las Vegas to speak to us.
My best wishes to you.
I gotta say, we got rave reviews on you. I know that you were nervous, but from all reports the consensus is that you are a natural born speaker. Without an exception, I heard only GOOD things.
One young lady said "Who IS that guy ... I wanna meet him" and I had to break her heart by telling her that you were already taken ...
As soon as I recover a bit, I'll be in touch. I may be able to get you a gig or two.
Hugs (Mensa style),
PS And a gigantic THANK YOU!
I like what you're doing.
It also cracks me up to see people try to analyze you. Have you ever noticed how some people feel the need to "figure someone out" or lump people into categories (i.e. racist, hostile, homophobe...) Your responses are great. Don't give an inch. You don't have to.
The only people that need to justify themselves are the sleazy scam artist, and there is not justification. They are evil thieves & liars, hiding like pussies behind international borders. ANYTHING we can do to get at them is fine by me.
I don't buy the "racist" motivation to what you're doing that some people want to label you with. I see you antagonizing them and mocking them, and making the point back at the scammer, that they are powerless to really do anything as they hide behind the same borders that make us powerless as victims to prosecute or get legal justice.
I have book-marked your site, and will read more as time permits.
I like what you do. I work for relay and we take calls from these bastards every day. I come home hating my job and see stuff like what you do and it makes it all good. Fuck them nematoad fuckers and all them retarded hate mails you get. They don't know shit. I'd like to see how they feel about what you do after their mama gets robbed of her savings or their brother's business goes out of business cuz they got an internet relay call asking for 10 wedding dresses, no particular design, all size 16 shipped to Ghana before their stolen credit card went through. Check out Nigerian Scams using IP Relay - @ www.aimoo.com I know lotsa people over that way and they'd appreciate what you do to these jerks. If you got a story on abc news, maybe you could tell them how to get theirs out cuz it's one that needs to get out.
Oh, and you can put this on your site if you wanna, but please don't put my email up. Too many people know it. Thanx!
Keep up the good work
This is a true story, it happened TODAY and I just wanted to thank you from
the bottom of my heart. I am a producer for a major TV network and have busted
many scam artists over the years but never thought one was good enough to bust
me. Yesterday, I went to eBay to buy a motorcycle and saw one that was beautiful,
and only $7500... Very skeptical, I e-mailed the seller THROUGH e-Bay... and
received assurance that all was ok, he wrote me very descriptive notes on the
bike with great pix and all that stuff. Shipping great, free, blah blah. Using
the mediator "Square -Trade" the sale (all of a sudden the bike was
in Italy) looked and felt fine...I got an answer to all my questions and told
that Square trade would hold all the
money until I got the bike. (I am keeping this short) Cut to today... (he got me this far) I am standing on line with almost $8000 in my hand at Western Union, form filled out and ready to hand the money to the woman to send to what I believe to be Square Trade... when I got this sick feeling that something just wasn't right. I said sorry to the woman and went back
to my office and typed the key words: Harley, scam and eBay into the search engine and what pops up??? YOU ! I started screaming at the computer as I was reading your website HOLY SHIT the exact scam I was just about to hand over my dough to... Dude you Kick ass!!! Thank You and keep up all the good work, you are my hero!
I have to say that you are one of the BEST things I've ever read online! It's
nice to see someone who just says whatever they think, and 99.9% of the time,
I agree with you whole heartedly! Not only that, but you are funny as hell!
Keep it up!
From one SingleMomFan in New Hampshire...
Greetings, esteemed EMM,
Firstly, congratulations on a great site. I've been bugged a few times by these tossers and it's refreshing to see someone taking them on at their own game - and winning!
In SA, we have a large population of Nigerians. Reading through the newspapers, one could be mistaken for thinking that their primary occupation here is peddling narcotics, followed closely by prostitution, pimping, violent crime, raketeering (hell, can't spell that...), in fact you name it, they're accused of it. As you can guess, Nigerians have a bad reputation here, and 419 scams are generally ignored unless you're dealing with the brain-dead.
By the way, the accusations of racism amuse me. More often than not, that is the "catch-all" argument used, when all else has been exhausted. Their other arguments have either been torn to shreds or fallen to bits by themselves and hey presto - bring out the old fail-safe "you're a racist" and sit back, watch your opponent skulk away. Sure there are racists out there and they need to be exposed for what they are - bigots and cowards. But when it gets churned out all the time it does wear a bit thin.
Congrats, and keep the great work!
I'm an african american male who came upon your site by accident. And no I don't think your a racist but you are funny as hell. Trust me when I tell you, I've been doing standup for over 10 years and I have not laughed so hard in my life, and that's including my own act. I have only viewed a few of the emails but they are the funniest sh*t I have read on the net period.
I remember when there were these same guys running their scam on the streets of Philly and New York only we called it the hotel scam. With the internet they are taking it to a whole new level. If anyone can not see the benefit of giving these snakes a taste of their own medicine then they should invest a couple of thousand in that bullshit!
Keep going at em if you are still doing it. Can't wait to read the other stories. Tiffany Minx (CLASSIC).
Hi Mr. Monkey Man (love the moniker).
I wanted to let you know I just laughed my butt off at the "Jacob"story on your website. It is hard for me to believe that someonewould actually fall for the nonsense those two cats were dishing outto that lad.
Then I got the chance pleasure to read the "hate mail from Kathy" on your site. Wow, creepy religious retarded lady indeed! Folks like that give Christians a bad name I think. I am a Christian and I like to refer to those type of folks as "Jesus Krispies" or what my pastor lovingly refers to as the trail mix variety, "Fruits Flakes and Nuts."
You probably scared that lady senseless by mentioning satan after her Timmy was praying. Anyway didn't write to talk religion, just wanted to cluck my approval at a well-done well-thought out site that gives me a good laugh from time to time.
I can just imagine my grandmother or my wife's mom falling for the crud these scammers try to ensnare the unenlightened with. From the research I have seen on this 419 subject it appears that these guys are thugs, cretins, and some are kidnappers/killers. That is what makes it so funny to see them hold up wine bottles on their heads, bananas or other idiotic objects with funny names on placards.
I am a network admin (read tech flunky) that deals with net neophytes every day and someone is always asking me do I think such and such email from Mr. Josef Umbugu etc. is legit. I have to explain to them all of the time that no, it isn't etc etc blah blah.
When I was single I almost fell for a Russian dating service / bride scheme that turned out to be a slight variation of an advanced fee fraud. Somehow or other I wised up, kept having a gut feeling that this was too good to be true. And here I am an fairly intelligent fellow (lonely too at the time) almost falling for the scam of the century. That left bitter acid in my mouth when I found her " pictures" on a Russian bride scam site much like yours. I was lucky.
So I applaud your efforts and thank you for helping us admin (flunkys) out. I have gotten to the point that I just tell the end-users on the network to check out 419 eater's website or Scamorama, and now I can have them check out your site.
And as for the word retarded, I have a daughter who is "mentally challenged" with
Down's Syndrome (doc calls it Tricymie 21 gene something or other) and I have
never referred to her as retarded. I have friends who do stuff like drink too
much and pass out naked on the lawn, now THAT is retarded. Heck, sometimes
I think that she is smarter than I am, some of the stuff she comes up with.
I think if I could get her to understand what's up with the world she'd probably
surprise all of us. She certainly seems to have more sense than some of the "guymen" who write your contributors. She'd probably like your site too. I know my wife cackles and howls when I read some of the correspondence aloud to her.
No, your site is not offensive. A bit rough sometimes, but so is life. I like
to think of it as one of those moments while rolling
down the freeway of life, you get the middle finger or some babe flashes her boobs at you. As for me personally I like the rude since we are all forced to accept the good with the bad. That's what makes it all worthwhile I think. Keeps us all humble and the ones observing our humility entertained.
Nothing like seeing a stuff shirt at dinner bend over to retrieve a glass and fart on the way. Yep, good ole humility.
Keep winding up the scammers. I tried winding one up once but I sort of chickened
out (big wuss me), perhaps I will get my nerve up to try it again.
Thanks for your time.
Cheers to the Monkey Man!
Please do accept my sincere gratitude for the work you are doing fighting
scams from Nigeria. I am a Nigerian resident in the US. I am a law abiding
and hard working individual who is pained by what my fellow country men are
doing to unsuspecting foreign nationals.
I am so pleased to have discovered your site. I think you are the beacon of light to alot of ignorant and greedy people wherever they may be. Some times I feel ashamed to be a Nigerian. But no, I will not allow some few stupid and lazy Nigerians make me feel ashamed of my nationality!
Truth is, there millions of hard working, honest and God fearing Nigerian individuals. The government of my country is trying to wipe out this 419 scams but it is a slow but steady progress. However, people like you are very vital to this fight.
I have also received some of this scam mails. I know people who are scammers. I also can tell any scam letters. All of these because I know the mentality of these people. They want to make quick money without working hard for it. Again, the social structure of the Nigerian society has also contributed to this deplorable situation. It's a society that does not question the source of wealth of individuals. It is a place where people glorify wealthy people irrespective of how they made their wealth. Furthermore, the economic condition of the country is in a sorry state. Unemployment is over 78%, per ca pita income is under $150. Most people in the political class have also made their fortunes from 419 or provide protection for those involved in these scams. In all of these, the victims have allowed their greed to becloud their sense of judgment and simple reasoning to lead them into all the lies and the resultant loss.
Some of these people avoid the scrutiny of the Nigerian authorities because they go to neighboring countries such as The Republic of Benin, Ghana, South Africa etc,etc to either send paper mails or use other data facilities that the Nigerian authorities have no control over. That is why some of the phone numbers they provide do not have Nigeria Country code, or it's a satellite phone. Some time they lure these foreign nationals to other countries to dispossess them of their life's labor and hard work.
If you're in doubt concerning investment proposals from Nigeria or else where for that matter, contact the country's high commission or embassy in your country. If you receive threats report to law enforcement agencies such as the FBI. But above all these people do not have what they promise to share with you. Do not let greed lead you astray. If it's too good to be true then it's not true.
If this fight must be won over 419 scammers, then the media and governmental agencies must work together to enlighten the public, not to fall victims to people who hardly have the intelligence to fool an average Nigerian with a basic high school education.
Thanks for your wonderful work. Please be free to contact me for any help or resource you need in your battle against these stupid, misguided and lazy few Nigerians who want to give us a bad image.
Mr. Ebola Monkey Man.
I have read some of the hate mail and scams themselves and I think you are a wonderful person who is in no way shape or form afraid of who he is and I want to commend you on your efforts.
I think you are completely appropriate
in your actions and reactions to certain situations and I agree that the
people being dealt with want nothing
to scam and scam alike so why shouldn't they be scammed? They should. My
friends are taking a pro-active stance now that we are aware of the scams
and is it just me or does all the hate mail seem to be coming fro the most
illiterate and completely uneducated potion of readers...
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